Am I Just One Big Fail?

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As I watched probably my worst parenting fail so far, unfolding before me this week, I sighed, and wondered if I’m just one massive muckup at this parenting thing. You see, neither of my children will eat breakfast-my every attempt to get something inside them is always met with the thrusting of said offending sustenance back in my face with the force of a fleet of rockets being launched into space. Closely followed with shouts and cries that I swear sound like ‘poison,’ ‘eject from area, eject from area,’ or maybe that’s just me having auditory hallucinations because the laws of nature clearly state that at 8am, I really shouldn’t have been up for three hours already. So, they don’t eat breakfast, which means that by mid morning, they are munching harder than teenage stoners on their first trip to Amsterdam. But we had a trip planned this particular morning, and I didn’t want them to just be spending the whole time resembling starved pigs, who have just been given access to a full trough. I was really pushing the breakfast thing, and it involved a frustrating carousel around the kitchen cupboards, opening each one multiple times, trying to tempt its contents into their mouths, and failing hugely.

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On the third rotation of musical kitchen cupboards, I was starting to feel very much like I was about to lose my shit temper. That’s when the Pom Bears and Kinder chocolate stick things fell from one of the cupboards, where they usually remain hidden for only the most intense of emergency bribe situations. Obviously, the children were all over them, snarling and salivating like zombies who have found the last remaining bit of human flesh left on the planet, to eat. I had no fight left in me by this time, so I gave in, and let them eat crisps and chocolate for breakfast. I started to imagine my headstone when I died. I imagined it would read something along the lines of ‘she was ok at some things, but as a mother, she was just One Big Fail.’

I’d also been trying to start potty training with my soon to be 3&1/2 year old, for the last week. Well, I’ve been trying on and off for ages, but his general plan of action to resist this forward step in his development, is to scream until he’s sick, and I am guilt tripped into putting a nappy back on him, and he will then promptly drop a huge poo in it, and demand that I change him immediately. So, award winning breakfast finished, I resolved that today would be the day! He wasn’t going to win! So I put his pants on, he screamed until he was sick, and I, ummm, put the nappy back on…

Off we go on our trip out. The children with sugar and grease circulating their systems, really setting them up for the day, and my dreams of a potty trained child now drowning in a sea of vom and endless Pampers Baby Dry. But, I’d managed a hair cut earlier in the week! My first for two years! And I was also trying out a new colour-and I really liked it! So at least my hair looked all shiny and polished for the first time in what seemed liked ever. I was off to a ‘do’ you see, at the weekend. It was black tie, and there was going to be lots of champagne, so I wanted to look my best. I picked the littlest monster up at one point, to do an obligatory bum sniff, when the aroma of stale brie and cabbage had reached my nose, and he swooped in on me, like the flesh eating zombie he is, and bit my neck. He actually held on while I tried to prize him off. Between trying to conceal my yelps of pain, because we were in public, and I didn’t want people to start referring to my child as ‘that Hannibal Lecter child,’ I hazily wondered if I had now watched so many vampire shows that I now lived in some altered reality where by some strange process of metamorphosis, my child had become an actual vampire. When I eventually prized him off, I expected a gaping wound, with spurting blood everywhere, from the level of pain I was in. But I had just a huge red mark, already purpling into a bruise, with specks of blood-not the full gush of a burst artery I had been expecting. However, I quickly remembered the do. I now couldn’t attend and proudly show off my freshly coiffed bonce, I had to work out some way of hiding what now resembled a hickey. Great, the do of the year, and I would be sporting a tramp stamp.

Later on at home, I was trying to counterbalance my feelings of extreme failure, by noting in my head the things that made me a good mum. In the middle of this, the eldest child asked, out of the blue: ‘Mummy, what do you do all day?’ Ahem, I’m sorry, what???? When have you seen all my friends without children? How did they find you? How have they infiltrated your mind with nonsense that mums have nothing to do all day???? Before I could answer, in the style of Gwen from Dinopaws, he quickly chimed in with a sing song ‘oohhhh! I know I know I know!! You wash our bottoms, then you go to bed!’

Now what was I saying about trying to recount all the nice things I do for them….

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A Bit Of Everything
Run Jump Scrap!
Mummuddlingthrough
Life Love and Dirty Dishes

 

Thanks for reading!

xoxo

 

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73 Comments

  1. March 14, 2016 / 7:39 am

    This post is truly brilliant and hilarious. I really love the zombie analogy. I am only starting out as a mother, but I still relate to your woes. And your great blog is definitely an epic win. #bigpinklink

  2. March 14, 2016 / 7:41 am

    I love this post! I think that your writing is amazing and I was grinning all the way through this. “Sporting a tramp stamp” made me snort out loud!

    PS: You are NOT a failure. You are a fantastic and caring Mum who spend time and effort trying to source a nutritious breakfast bounty for your gorgeous children. (#musicalkitchencupboards – just yes!) It is not your fault that toddlers do not eat food. Anyway. Chocolate comes from cocoa which grown on trees, and crisps come from potatoes which grow in the ground. You’ve practically offered them salad! 🙂

    You are a genius!
    Dawn x
    #fartglitter

  3. March 14, 2016 / 9:10 am

    Your description of breakfast time sounds familiar! I’m starting to think Dangermouse may as well just be seved up 3 brioches a day, because thats all she wants to eat!
    #bigpinklink

    ps you aren’t a failure xxx

  4. March 14, 2016 / 9:21 am

    I absolutely love this post and the way you write, my friends social media status’s are written in a similar way and I am constantly harassing her to blog, the teenage stoners comment really made me lol x

  5. March 14, 2016 / 9:27 am

    Pah, failure is subjective. If your kids are alive and there are no major injuries sustained that day then that’s a tick in the win box for me.

    #bigpinklink

  6. March 14, 2016 / 9:29 am

    Oh dear! I think we all have days like that. I know I sure do.
    Hang on in there. It gets easier.
    #bigpinklink

  7. March 14, 2016 / 9:31 am

    I know I shouldn’t find this funny… But it sounds exactly like my day! I post all the healthy recipes and food pictures that my family eat but my son doesn’t actually touch them! He normally throws breakfast on the floor, an hour or two later I cave in and give him a couple of biscuits. He is a pincher, only to me though and only on my neck so I look like a have a hickey most days. Great post! #bigpinklink

  8. March 14, 2016 / 9:58 am

    I don’t know what it is with kids and breakfast, mine refused to eat it when they were younger and they still pick at it like it’s poison even now. #BigPinkLink

  9. March 14, 2016 / 10:10 am

    YOU ARE NOT ONE BIG FAIL. I REPEAT YOU ARE NOT ONE BIG FAIL!! Get this thought right outta your mind at once. We all have moments of this, I’ve found myself counting my failures more than once, but then I remind myself that this parenting lark doesn’t come with a handbook (well, it does I guess but none of the handbooks/guides whatever you want to call them are about as much use as non alcoholic wine). One thing I will say is this, your humourous take on what is an otherwise really tough post to write is brilliant. Humour is the best way of dealing with the trials and tribulations of parenting. And yes, stale cabbage and brie is the best way to describe a whiffy bum. #bigpinklink

  10. March 14, 2016 / 10:25 am

    oh hun potty training I hear you #nightmare #hatedeverysecond
    would love to see the haircut xx looking forward to your next post xx
    #bigpinklink

  11. March 14, 2016 / 10:32 am

    I think all moms feel this way. Toilet training is such hard work & it goes on for months. Our daughter didn’t want to poo in the toilet for a month – she’s just starting now. These thing happen. You aren’t a failure! Your son will use the toilet when he’s ready. I love reading posts like this because the more realistic side of parenting that’s out there, the better we will all feel about ourselves as parents! #FartGlitter x

    • March 14, 2016 / 10:39 am

      I’m back with #bigpinklink thanks so much for hosting lovely!! x

  12. March 14, 2016 / 10:47 am

    Aw, bless you! I’m convinced there’s something in the air. A number of my friends have had some mommy melt-down moments lately, me included, and then pondered the old philosophical question: Am I the world’s worst mum? Console yourself with the fact that your children had breakfast (no-one needs to know what!). I try not to sweat the small stuff (easier said than done at time!). Don’t worry about the potty-training, that will come in time..they all get there in the end😉 #bigpinklink

  13. March 14, 2016 / 11:28 am

    OMG I’m sorry but this was totally hilarious. I am the failing parent too, I do the cupboard dance and sorry to tell you but mine are 7 and 9. My son was way too late (according to my mum) in nappies etc etc You are not alone!!! Tell your son you watch Netflix all day. My son is freaked out that I spend all day writing about him now.

  14. March 14, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    This made me really laugh – I too am a potty training fail lol – sometimes the drama that unfolds when you try is not worth the headache lol
    “I know I know I know” ( a favourite phrase in my household) great read, hope you enjoy the ‘do’! xx #BIGPINKLINK

  15. March 14, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    Oh lovey we have all been there and felt exactly the same, suffice to say your not alone or a fail! The amount of times I have banned biscuits before dinner and relented for 5 minute quiet so I can make the bloody dinner, only for it not then to be eaten. Such a stress. At least you had a shiny new do – every cloud and all that lol. I hope you enjoy your night out. #bigpinklink xx

  16. March 14, 2016 / 1:03 pm

    I remember potty training my daughter was an absolute nightmare, not helped by the fact her dad decided to keep putting her in pull ups at night because he couldn’t be bothered to lift her before he went to bed – yeah, don’t worry, we are seperated…it took a very, very long time and I was worried she’d never get it but after some shouty capital text messages he got the point and I won. This was near enough two years ago now, she was 3 1/2 at the time. She doesn’t eat breakfast either. If she does it’s rare and she wants a ham sandwich. I’ve given in trying to fight her now it’s just not worth it. #bigpinklink

  17. March 14, 2016 / 1:26 pm

    It’s so hard when they ask that! I do loads of things all day! Most of them completely unnoticed!

  18. March 14, 2016 / 2:28 pm

    I felt hard done by last weekend when Bear bit me hard on the arm and left a bruise but now I’m feeling lucky because it could have been my neck!

    My boys get half a bag of Quavers each after breakfast (so at like 5.30 in the morning) every day. I can’t remember how it came about but I’ve stopped even feeling bad about it, now.

    #bigpinklink

  19. March 14, 2016 / 2:57 pm

    Oh they do test our patience at times don’t they! Always remember you are fab – all us mummys are for the crazy mummy world we rule! xx #bigpinklink

  20. March 14, 2016 / 3:07 pm

    Lucy, I hope you don’t mind that I am cracking up although I think that I can empathize (even without children). Let me offer this little nugget. I was never a breakfast child…the thought of it would make me gag some mornings. (And some breakfasts did not stay down either.) The advantage that I had, though, is that a lot of mornings my mother hadn’t returned home from her night shift as a nurse before my dad left for work after he made and gave me breakfast. I would just wait for him to leave and trash the breakfast, not eating until lunch time. Now, when one or both of them was/were home for breakfast, that was a different scene all together…much more like what you experience. They finally gave up when I hit high school. I say all of that to say this…I still–at 44–am not a breakfast person save once in a blue moon and my health and mental acuity have never suffered. What’s even better is that a study was just release in the last couple of weeks that fasting (only eating in the afternoon and evening) might actually be healthier. Chin up!

  21. March 14, 2016 / 3:08 pm

    Oh before I even started reading this post I was shouting No No No! You are not a failure and when I read this post I still want to shout No! You are doing an amazing job of one of the most physical and demanding jobs I know with very little reward some days. But can I just say, and I hope you don’t mind, but i had tears streaming down my face towards the end of this post – you poor love – too much for one mummy to bear and your paragraph about had your son seen your friends without children made me really laugh – and the lack of appreciation of what you actually do even by your son – arggghhhhh! You know he doesn’t mean it as Im sure I know my teenagers don’t mean it (well sometimes!!). A great post to read and I love your style of writing! #bigpinklink xx here’s to sunnier days xx

  22. March 14, 2016 / 3:11 pm

    This is hilarious – sorry to laugh at your pain and strife, but it really is 😀 The idea of your kids munching harder than a teenage stoner on their first trip to Amsterdam really got me 😀
    x Alice
    #bigpinklink

  23. March 14, 2016 / 3:23 pm

    Your keeping 2 children alive on a daily basis……that means your winning. I’ve no idea how my OH does it and we’ve only got one 6 month old. #bigpinklink

  24. March 14, 2016 / 3:37 pm

    Oh no, I totally felt for you reading this because I have horrible days like this too. My son also refuses breakfast most mornings unless it is chocolate cereal and he is always biting. Parenting is hard for everyone, you’re not a failure. I’m sure you are a great mum, pomme bears for breakfast isn’t the end of the world and if you’re trying your best then what more can anyone ask for. You can’t force anyone to eat or go on the potty if they don’t want to. Dont beat yourself up 🙂 xx #bigpinklink

  25. March 14, 2016 / 3:39 pm

    So glad it’s not just me who throws my toys out the pram at times! Kids can be such ungrateful little buggers at times….but equally very cute too. Double edged sword…

  26. March 14, 2016 / 3:56 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing this, i am currently feeling a bit frazzled by my almost 2 yr old and it’s made me feel like I’m not the only one 🙂 my child today gauged another child’s eye, I was so upset and took her for a time out! Then after playgroup we went for a walk, whilst holding my hand she bite my hand like a bloody rabid dog, so she could break free!! Why do the bite? I mean it hurts like heck…I almost lost it, but kept my cool until we reached our designated then she almost fell off a statue, it was then I was like back in buggy! #bigpinklink

  27. March 14, 2016 / 3:57 pm

    I sometimes feel like that, my daughter doesn’t seam to want to eat finger food and when she ate a sandwich for the first time last week I couldn’t stop talking about it. I think most people go through the same things you have described so I wouldn’t worry #bigpinklink

  28. March 14, 2016 / 5:15 pm

    Hee hee, they’re alive aren’t they – that’s a win in my book 🙂
    We’ve all had days like this, that’s why wine exists.

  29. March 14, 2016 / 5:33 pm

    Oh no!! Just write it off as one of those rubbish days that don’t count, and repeat the mantra “tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better…!” Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink 🙂

  30. March 14, 2016 / 7:08 pm

    I often have days like this. In fact, my eldest had four breadsticks for breakfast this morning. All I could get him to eat. It’s frustrating and can sometimes make my blood boil but I realised a while ago; pick your battles. I just can’t cope with it some days and I don’t want to burn out emotionally before I’ve had time to sit down with a glass of wine and watch America’s/Britain’s/Australia’s Next Top Model in the evenings. You are not a failure – kids are stressful!! Ad no one bloody warns us! Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink again 🙂

  31. March 14, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    You are so not a mum fail! I found that my kids were just not hungry in the morning, I left them for a bit and then did brekkie a bit later. It worked fine until there was school to get to! Now I still have to chivvy them to eat. This post did make me giggle a little, not at you, but along in sympathy with you, the vampire bit sounds funny but I bet it bloody wasn’t at the time! I’m so glad you go the break to have your hair done nicely, you deserve the pamper. I think you’re a fab Mum and brilliant co-host #bigpinklink

  32. March 14, 2016 / 8:05 pm

    OOOH DEAR! Sounds like a stressful day, but rest assured we all have days like this! I did laugh at the tramp stamp for the fancy do though, nightmare! x #bigpinklink

  33. March 14, 2016 / 8:25 pm

    This totally sounds like me and my life!! You’re certainly not a failure, being a parent is the hardest job in the whole world. You’re doing amazing, keep going!! #bigpinklink

  34. March 14, 2016 / 9:12 pm

    Oh I am so sorry, but I did laugh at that post! The references to zombies were hilarious!

    I’ve always found breakfast a bit hit and miss. I offer Siena about three things and then if she says no I just leave it until she is hungry. With the tween I offer her one thing and then leave it at that as it’s not worth going through the full range of breakfast items to be met with grunts.

    I excelled myself one year when the tween was younger as one Christmas day she ate a Yorkshire pudding and some Haribo for Christmas dinner, I was so proud!

    Let’s not even talk about potty training, I’m in denial.

    Hope the do was ok in the end?

    #bigpinklink

  35. March 14, 2016 / 10:14 pm

    Okay, I had to giggle even though I do feel your pain. I love your writing style and the way you describe the situations – Hannibal Lechter and tramp stamp!! You do know he’s marking you as his territory, right?? Heehee… Brilliant as always! And by the way, you are not a one big fail! You’re an incredible mum because you are able to look at the situation and see the lighter side of it all. And that’s one of the hardest things to do as a parent. #bigpinklink

  36. March 14, 2016 / 10:15 pm

    Oh my. I am really sorry that you’ve got a tramp stamp and that your child voms if ever you try to with hold the nappy, but, you did make me laugh out loud this evening and that, my dear, rarely happens. One big success I’d say. Congrats and thanks. Pen x

  37. March 14, 2016 / 10:55 pm

    Aww, lovely, that’s such a rubbish week, next will be better, certainly not a failure though, I bet behind closed doors most mums feed their children pom bears! Couldn’t help laugh at the Hannibal Lecter comment. I have a biter of an 8 month old, why does he always go for my chin?

  38. March 14, 2016 / 11:14 pm

    Sounds like a really tough week. I hope you did get to go to your “do” and found a way of covering the mark. Hope this week is better for you!

  39. March 15, 2016 / 12:14 am

    Is it bad that I was laughing like a crazy person throughout this post? 😂 You are not a bad mom! We all have our less then stellar moments sure, but in the end we do alright. My 2 year old is currently eating popcorn for dinner because that’s all she wants to eat so there’s that.. 😁
    I love you writing style and I love your blog!
    #bigpinklink

  40. March 15, 2016 / 2:19 am

    Big hugs! I been having a week like this too. We’ve resorted to nutella on bread for brekkie and I pretend not to notice when the bread is scraped clean and dumped or when the hand goes unencumbered, straight into the jar. And potty training…nope, I can’t even. At least there is wine x

    #fartglitter

  41. March 15, 2016 / 6:59 am

    Oh dear, I think we all have days like this from time to time. At least you’re able to keep your sense of humour about it!

    Good luck with camouflaging your neck!

    #bigpinklink

  42. March 15, 2016 / 10:58 am

    Kids always ask that question, mine still question what i do all day despite having the 6 of them and Coombe Mill to run. My advise is pick your battles and let somethings go, I have some that enjoy a healthy breakfast and some that will only bother if there are sugar coated cereals in the cupboard. I’ve stopped worrying about it so long as they eat one good meal a day. #Abitofeverything

  43. March 15, 2016 / 12:26 pm

    I totally understand that awful feeling of getting a pasting (in your case a bite) and there is absolutely nothing you can do when it is in full flow. Even the judgement stares pale into insignificance as you wonder how bad your injury is going to be. Experience has taught me to say ‘so what’ to some of these things rather than feel like a bad mum. There’s already enough judges so it’s up to us to give ourselves a pat on the parenting back #abitofeverything

  44. March 15, 2016 / 12:52 pm

    we’ve all had days like that. I couldn’t tell you how many days that ended with my kid eating pop tarts and toast with cheese melted in the middle. Not even grilled, just toast with cheese

  45. March 15, 2016 / 1:11 pm

    Good days and bad days and all that. Take the good with the bad and take the bad with a bottle of wine! Sending wine xx

  46. March 15, 2016 / 9:03 pm

    I can definitely relate to this. One of my twins refuses to eat breakfast too, every meal is a bit of a battle to be honest, but esp breakfast! As for the potty training my other twin boy (3.5) is still not potty trained. He just goes to wee on my carpet, then goes to sit on the potty AFTERWARDS?? And don’t even get me started on him going for a poo on the floor!!! Feeling your pain here and looking forward to reading future posts. #bigpinklink

  47. March 15, 2016 / 9:11 pm

    I hate Gwen from Dinopaws 🙂

    I seem to have had a few of those days lately (although luckily no chunks taken out of my neck!). It sounds like you’re due a big glass (bottle?) of wine!

  48. March 15, 2016 / 9:26 pm

    Haha brilliant. We’ve all been there. I am also in possession of a non-potty trained 3.5 year old. He has just stopped screaming when I put pants on him but still resolutely just pees on the floor, not a care in the world, every time. To be fair to him though, I think the sensory issues with his asd mean he actually can’t recognise the sensation. But it is very, very frustrating. Especially when other, clearly perfect, parents tell you that potty training is “all down to the parents’ attitude” and they wouldn’t “let” their child go beyond 2 years without being trained. I am digressing… you’re doing brilliantly. Just keep swimming! #bigpinklink

  49. March 15, 2016 / 9:27 pm

    Thank you for writing this it makes me feel like I am not alone! I too have the breakfast issue but with a 7 month old, and try a combo of weetabix, porridge, toast etc, then getting stressed when nothings is eaten. It’s so hard bringing up little ones, but I can guarantee that you are doing a brilliant job, so please don’t think that you’re a failure. As my husband says take the rough with the smooth. Claire #BigPinkLink

  50. March 15, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    I’m definitely having one of those weeks (months) too! I’m lucky that G loves a good brekkie but I’m all over the chocolate bribery to get him to do most other things including using his buggy, not tearing apart our/other people’s houses, getting in his car seat etc etc the list goes on. I too have tried potty training unsuccessfully at least 5 times now, I just feel like if persevering means cleaning up wee and poo all day then I’m just not ready for it ever. xx #bigpinklink

  51. March 16, 2016 / 1:23 am

    Haha – happens to everyone! My nearly 3 year old is resisting all attempts to potty train her (meanwhile the 19 month old is trying really hard to use the potty even though we don’t require her to!). Luckily, my two do like their breakfast. I, on the other hand, often eat chocolate for breakfast – setting a great example! #bigpinklink

  52. March 16, 2016 / 2:44 pm

    Sounds like a normal day to me!! “What do you do all day” haha! My 3 year old daughter always throws in the good old “I want my Daddy” when he’s at work, or “I’m bored, where’s Daddy?!” I’ve started a weekly scrap book to show them when they’re older exactly how much they did and all the places they went too! #bestandworst

  53. March 17, 2016 / 7:43 am

    Just read this again, great post and something we can relate to. #coolmumclub

  54. March 17, 2016 / 8:10 am

    God I hope the neck was ok! Bless you hun, we have those days!! I’m struggling with my daughter to get her to poo in the toilet…wees are sorted but she asks for a nappy for poos still. So true but they do it when they are ready. I can’t believe you were asked what you do all day!! How funny and frustrating! Here’s to a better day and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  55. March 17, 2016 / 10:54 am

    Hah! I’m having a similar week but must admit haven’t been bitten YET! Your kids are alive, happy and pooing in their nappy so you’re doing a great job! #CoolMumClub

  56. March 17, 2016 / 12:59 pm

    If this is your biggest fail, you’re doing fine! Just wait for the teenage years – the fails then are much bigger and scarier…….. #coolmumclub

  57. March 17, 2016 / 1:50 pm

    Sometimes being a parent does feel like one being effing fail – until the next small win when we momentarily forget. Then we have another fail and feel like turds again! Thanks again for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely

  58. March 17, 2016 / 3:35 pm

    Lol yep that pretty much sums up what us Stay At Home Mums do all day 😉

    As for breakfast time then we’ll, if you’re a failure then so am I. My kids do eat breakfast but it’s the only meal they eat. They aren’t so keen on lunch or dinner. Frickin’ kids!

    #stayclassy

  59. March 17, 2016 / 5:25 pm

    My mama said there would be days like this **chiming tune in her head** what she forgot to tell me is that THEY SUCK! I hate when I feel like I have failed at motherhood and sometimes it’s more than one day it can be two or three in a row! But then I remember that kids can be little you know whats sometimes too because none of us are perfect. I can only take being superwoman for so long before I snap into the green goblin. Hope your days are better. Thanks for hostessing the #bigpinklink!

  60. March 17, 2016 / 8:42 pm

    I do feel for you but this is so well written that you made me laugh too. Is that bad?! #BestAndWorst #CoolMumClub #ABitofEverything #StayClassy and of course #BigPinkLink
    Phew!

  61. March 17, 2016 / 10:51 pm

    Oh lovely, you’ve read my post and I fully sympathise. Sending wine to share. You are doing a great job. It will come and hang in there. It will get easier. Lots of love. #abitofeverything Thanks for linking up xx

  62. March 18, 2016 / 10:38 am

    When I’m having one of those days, you know with vampires and chocolate for breakfast, I have a mantra on repeat in my head. “Having a bad day doesn’t make you a bad mum.” It makes me feel a bit better. So does wine and a bit of a cry. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  63. March 18, 2016 / 11:11 am

    oh no! You poor thing what a day and then to be questioned with what do you do all day! I love how you wrote this, just brilliant. Don’t feel bad, we have all had desperate moments and questioned our right to be a parent, but a few naughty meals does not make a bad mother, far from it! #thebigpinklink

  64. March 18, 2016 / 11:50 am

    I can totally relate to this but also hilarious!! #FridayFrolics

  65. March 18, 2016 / 4:36 pm

    at time like these I remember the words of someone I can’t remember now.
    our parents make all the mistakes
    we don’t repeat them
    we make a whole load of new mistakes
    embrace the mistakes

  66. March 18, 2016 / 5:15 pm

    Hahah you are hilarious! I was smiling the whole way through. There are SO many ‘classy’ moments in this post I can’t even count! Definitely worthy on the #StayClassy linky.

    You are not a failure, this sounds like normal, everyday Mom life. I hope you had a good time at the ‘do’ to make up for the breakfast/shit fest (excuse my language)! ; ) Thanks so much for linking up with #StayClassy!

  67. March 18, 2016 / 9:07 pm

    Apologies if you get two comments from me, I tried to comment earlier! Love this, made me laugh. I reckon crisps and chocolate for breakfast isn’t really any different to chocolate cereal, so it’s fine! And a tramp stamp did make me chuckle. Obviously you’re not a failure, you are wonderful but I am assuming this is all in jest anyway! #StayClassy

  68. March 19, 2016 / 9:32 pm

    I have days exactly like this. Weeks actually. It’s awful isn’t it. I love being a mum but it seems when things go wrong, every sodding thing imaginable goes wrong at once and it’s always after you’ve had a brilliant week, just as a huge kick in the nuts. I feel like a failure quite a lot but we’re not. We’re just very tired raising our amazing and insane little babes. I really enjoyed reading this I feel like this post was me last week!! Did make me chuckle. You’re doing great x

  69. March 24, 2016 / 9:13 pm

    Never heard a hickey called a tramp stamp before … Great post. #stayclassy muma 😉

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