Have I lost My Imagination?

Imagination: a fairy next to arailway line.

My children always want me to play with them. They seem physically incapable of playing by themselves, and I often have to ignore their pleas of ‘please mummy, PLEASE-WE DON’T WANT TO PLAY ON OUR OWN,’ not only because my house is a total shit tip, which is in grave need of my attention, but also because my imagination appeared to be completely dead.

They can hand me a Darth Vader, and they’ll be shouting: ‘And Luke Skywalker is going to jump out of God’s mouth, fall through heaven, collect eleven five ten thousand bajillion stars on his way down, then use the light power he collected to kill all the baddies, and the Ewoks will see him falling from God’s mouth and use power from their minds to save him. He will use his pants as a parachute, and use fart power to jet propel himself to somewhere safe, and the Ewok’s minds will stop him hurting himself, and build him a castle of chocolate to live in. What does Darth Vader do then mummy??’

‘Erm, get out his lightsaber and hurt some people?’

‘No mummy, that’s boring.’

‘Ok, yea, I am kind of lame…’

I always think that I could never write a children’s book, because I’ve lost that part of my brain that delights in simple, magical adventures. I can’t think of anything remotely exciting to bring to their games-I don’t know why they insist on trying to include me to be fair. I did think I’d completely lost all imagination-a brain deadened by a mundane adult life. That was, until a few recent car journeys…

I was getting really annoyed by someone driving a few inches from my bumper, recently. It’s the kind of driving offence I put up there with people who drive in the middle lane, and people who don’t indicate at roundabouts. ‘If he gets any further up my ass, he’ll need to use a condom,’ I muttered. ‘WHAT DID YOU SAY MUMMY?’ ‘Nothing!’ And my brain then proceeded to imagine a world where all bumpers were fitted with sensors, which when another car got too close, made a neon flashing sign rise up in the rear window, saying ‘STOP VIOLATING MY ASS, THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING.’ If they continued to drive so close, they’d get a second warning, then if they still didn’t back off, cars would spray theirs with condoms, which on impact, would cover their car with a corrosive material-surely a sure fire way to get people AWAY FROM MY ASS. Maybe repeat offenders could then have their heads placed on spikes at the entrance and exit to motorway junctions, along with those of people who drive in the middle lane, to serve as a deterrent to not be such a dick.

I realised I’d gotten massively carried away. I also realised I did in fact, have an imagination-just translating that into the innocence of my children’s games, is just a whole different ball game, right…?!

19 Comments

  1. May 22, 2017 / 7:56 am

    Lol I really struggle with this aspect of parenting too – my little girl is always getting me to act out scenarios with her CBeebies characters, and I run out of ideas about 2 minutes in and feel a bit of a plank the whole time! #BigPinkLink

    • This Mum's Life
      May 22, 2017 / 8:52 am

      I know-you feel so daft don’t you?! I can’t ever think of anything on their wavelength, and I had such a vivid imagination as a child-it makes me quite sad!!

  2. May 22, 2017 / 8:07 am

    I think our imaginations just get bogged down by adult worries and we forget to switch into our fun brain. I like to think of it as a skill, the more you use it, the better it is. #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      May 22, 2017 / 8:50 am

      That’s very true Heather!! I’ll work on honing it like a muscle in a workout!!

  3. May 22, 2017 / 8:25 am

    Haha maybe you only want to explore one genre. #bigpinklink

  4. May 22, 2017 / 8:49 am

    Haha! I totally get this. I need to work on my imagination. Also, this has reminded me of why I hate driving! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      May 22, 2017 / 8:55 am

      Yes, me too-I hate driving!! Making up stories about the idiots I encounter while I’m doing it, makes it a bit easier!

  5. May 22, 2017 / 8:50 am

    I reckon my imagination has gone too you know. I thought I had an epic one but turns out I actually don’t! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      May 22, 2017 / 8:53 am

      It’s quite sad when you realise, isn’t it??!

  6. May 22, 2017 / 11:00 am

    Ha!! It’s so true, I think my imagination can be quite vivid around some things but I’m not very good at coming up with fun things to do with my 18 month old. Luckily he doesn’t really care yet…
    I like your idea anyway, I get so pissed off when people drive right up my arse!! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      June 5, 2017 / 9:07 am

      It’s so bloody annoying isn’t it!! My children really are getting fed up with mummy’s crap imagination-must work on it…! X

  7. May 24, 2017 / 12:15 pm

    It’s like you are me and I am you! I too have no imagination for children’s games, but the horrible fate I imagine for learner drivers and taxi’s (this is South Africa), would surely win some kinds of award if they would just let me make my movie!!!
    #bigpinklink.

    • This Mum's Life
      May 26, 2017 / 4:38 pm

      Ha!! That’s brilliant!!

  8. May 25, 2017 / 1:30 pm

    You do have an imagination as you just proved! But getting back into children’s world and imagination is a completely different thing. You have to almost go to a different planet to try and get on to their level of weird and wacky! #BigPinkLink xx

  9. May 27, 2017 / 10:37 am

    I’m gonna have a hard time translating my dirty mind to PG friendly interpretation too! hahah whoopsy! #bigpinklink

  10. May 28, 2017 / 10:54 am

    With you on the bumper hugging, drives me insane too. I always used to leave my husband to handle those imaginary games – he was just so much better at thinking outside the box. We can’t be perfect at everything can we? #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      May 28, 2017 / 5:41 pm

      That’s very true!!

  11. May 30, 2017 / 8:11 am

    Haha, your imagination has just ‘matured’ x

    • This Mum's Life
      May 30, 2017 / 9:25 am

      Yes!!