Do I Need Anger Management?

There was once a woman who lived in the South of England. She was wife of a Keifer Sutherland lookalike, and slave to the role of parenting. Nobody ever listened to a word she said, or ate anything she cooked. She was either found repeating herself like a useless parrot, into an abyss, or trying to reduce the size of her cellulitic, insulin resistant ass, by #shabammingtheshitoutoflife and letting out a bit of wee.
She had started to wonder if she had anger management issues. She had always prided herself on being calm-in her old job as a nurse (pre #shabammingtheshitoutoflife and incontinent days,) she was often referred to as ‘the calm one,’ or ‘the kind one.’ Outwardly, she mused, she was probably still those things, except pretty much 99% of situations nowadays, led to her screaming a stream of expletives in her head, or into the abyss (98% of the time out of earshot of the children, but she was only human, and has let out the occasional shit and twat around them. They don’t listen to a word she says though, so it’s ok, they’ve never repeated it.)
Old ladies tutting at her moaning children in coffee shops-old her thinks: ‘oh gosh, I really must stop inconveniencing these poor people.’ New her thinks: ‘FUCK YOU, YOU CRUSTY OLD BINT.’
Her child at playgroup is trying to ride one of the bikes down a slope, with the moderate threat that he might fall off. Another mum tells him he shouldn’t be doing it. She tells him it’s ok. The other mum won’t leave it alone. Eventually the little one is crying because of the other mum’s persistence, eventually leading to her blocking his path. Old her thinks: ‘She only has his best interests at heart, she doesn’t mean to be completely annoying.’ New her thinks: See above.
She watches a barista put ice in her children’s drinks while taking them out for a treat. Old her thinks: ‘Oh dear, brace yourselves for the shit storm peeps! You’re just about to ruin my children’s day my love!’ New her thinks: ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????? WHY ARE YOU NOT PSYCHIC, DON’T YOU REALISE MY CHILDREN HATE HAVING ICE IN THEIR DRINKS, AND WILL MOAN LIKE HILDA ACROSS THE ROAD DOES ABOUT HOW HER PILES, YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!’
People moaning on Facebook, about the same things-old her thinks: ‘Oh dear, I hope they feel better for moaning about that for the millionth time.’ New her: ‘You stupid reprobates, just find some more meaning in your lives, for the love of God!’
And her current favourite-people making a huge announcement that they’re having a social media ‘clear out,’ old her thinks: ‘Oh gosh, I hope I’m not cleared out, I will wonder for years whatever I did to offend them.’ New her thinks: ‘If Jeffrey Dean Morgan followed me on social media, and announced he was having a clear out, and got rid of me, I’d be devastated, and would probably cry. ANYONE ELSE AND YOU DON’T NEED TO MAKE THE BIG BLOODY ANNOUNCEMENT!! JUST. STOP.
I’m sure you’re all getting the picture. She even has a friend she messages for certain rants, and asked that friend the other day, if she thought she had an anger management issue. Said friend kindly recommended a yoga DVD, and a headspace mindfulness app…
There could be many reasons for the woman’s ‘problem.’
She could maybe just not be walked over in the same way she had been accustomed to being.
She had previously astounded herself with the fierceness to protect her offspring, which made herfar less quiet than she had ever been-maybe this had carried on, and she was turning into the feisty woman she always wished she’d been.

Maybe she was starting to realise that she gave less of a crap about the less important things in life, and wished everyone else was the same.

Maybe being asked for snacks 5 minutes after every unfinished meal, had finally driven her round the twist.

Maybe the lack of personal space, proper working conditions, lack of adult company, and scrutiny of her every bowel movement for the last four years, had finally become too much.

Whatever the reason, she didn’t like it too much, and will be working on it over the next few weeks.

Just don’t say that this sometimes happens to ‘women of a certain age,’ she might punch you.

56 Comments

  1. March 6, 2017 / 8:17 am

    I laughed so hard. My friend used to be so easy going, then she had two boys in rapid succession. For 5 years she was a wreck, nervously twitching and screaming inside while her face conveyed her every though. Then her kids started school and became humans instead of tyrants and it started to get better. I used to just chuckle as her husband would walk right into an argument because he said she was “hormonal.”

    I learned you never, ever, use that word around an exhausted mama unless you want to die. #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 8:44 am

      So it’s NOT just me…!! Hopefully I’ll find this happens to everyone! Five years you say?! Hopefully I’ve only got another year left of this constant internal raging left then!! X

  2. March 6, 2017 / 9:18 am

    I love this! I have become convinced there must be an underlying reason for my mood swings post having my little boy. Maybe it’s just a Mum thing!? #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 9:21 am

      Hopefully…! And hopefully once they’re older, it passes and we go back to normal again!! Please…!!!

  3. March 6, 2017 / 9:35 am

    I’ve toyed with the idea of anger management classes over the years. Things just make me rage that shouldn’t! Great post, and trust me, you’re not on your own #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 9:46 am

      Ok, I’m feeling much better from the comments! Although it can be pretty hard to deal with can’t it? Especially when anger has never been a part of your life before!

  4. March 6, 2017 / 9:39 am

    WHY ARE YOU NOT PSYCHIC! Hahaha! Yes! Great post xx #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 10:39 am

      They should really know that putting ice in my kids drinks will ruin our day?!!

  5. March 6, 2017 / 9:42 am

    Oh I feel JUST like this and I bet most of us does. Fair play to you 🙌say it like it is.

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 9:46 am

      Really feeling better about it now!!

  6. March 6, 2017 / 10:15 am

    I can appreciate the sentiments! #bigpinklink

  7. March 6, 2017 / 10:38 am

    Oh MY, You are human!! I’m sure everyone can relate to this, anger management, no way, you don’t need it, not until you start punching people. I’m a woman of a certain age, and punching is not an option!
    #BigPinkLink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:29 pm

      No punches thrown as yet…!! It’s game over when it comes to that!!!

  8. March 6, 2017 / 11:16 am

    Yeah I’m much more on the lines of new you. What twat thinks it is a good idea to put ice in a childs drink? I also think it is simply polite to ask an adult if they would like ice rather than assuming! I usually keep these thoughts to myself but I wonder if I would feel better if I managed to accidentally let the odd one out every now and again?
    #BigPinkLink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:27 pm

      I know, what a bunch of effing buffoons!!! Yea sod it, let’s just start letting it all out!!!!

  9. March 6, 2017 / 11:34 am

    This was me last week and it resulted in the whole family buggering off and leaving me in peace for a large part of the weekend. Bar the school run this morning, I am now happy zen lady again! 😀 I think we all reach our saturation point and the only thing that can fix it is a break. Thanks for being my awesome cohost.xx

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:26 pm

      This is me a lot of the time though…??! I’m glad you got some well deserved peace, and all is restored!! X

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:25 pm

      Yaaay!!!!! X

  10. March 6, 2017 / 12:02 pm

    ‘Nobody ever listened to a word she said,’ This sentence made me tearful – I’m really feeling like that today in my house – properly feeling sorry for myself kind of moment! Oh and I didn’t know that you used to be a nurse – so did I! ‘New her thinks: ‘FUCK YOU, YOU CRUSTY OLD BINT.’ – now I’m really crying – but laughter crying so that’s good! Oh and then I continued to laugh and cry the whole way through. I think I love you just a little bit more after reading this post. You’re just brilliant! #BigPinkLink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:24 pm

      Aaah thanks Helen-you are the absolute best, and always make my day with your comments!! Really, nobody ever bloody listens to me at all-it really does make you feel sorry for yourself doesn’t it??!! I had no idea you used to be a nurse! Let’s hear it for the ex nurses!! 😘

  11. March 6, 2017 / 12:58 pm

    Haha I know exactly what you mean! I do not judge you AT ALL. I called my child a twat under my breath the other day. To be fair, he did deserve it 😉 #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:21 pm

      Yes, I seem to do that all the time to my children…😆. They ALWAYS deserve it…!

  12. March 6, 2017 / 1:10 pm

    Lol! Its called having a tether and reaching the end of it. Inused to be very patient and not let things bother me but now I am sleep deprived, stuck in a monotonous cycle of housework and baby rearing and the highlight of my week has been watching Gilmore Girls on netflix… every little thing that involves someone else (even our cats!) just irritates me. Factor in the element that I am due to give birth any day to my second and yep, it’s a miracle I’ve not maimed anyone. #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:20 pm

      Oh gosh, it’s definitely surprising you haven’t commit murder…!! Good luck Emmitt the new baby! You’ve just described my life-everything revolves around everyone except me, and my highlight is Jeffrey Dean Morgan once a week in The Walking Dead…😩

  13. March 6, 2017 / 1:46 pm

    Yes! A totally relateable post with every mum on the planet. So, so true. I am often heard saying to my kids things like: I was in a really good mood when I woke up, but now I feel horrible. I’m totally with you on the Facebook clearout thing…grrrr…luckily I punch and kick for a living, so get to expel my anger 🙂 Have you tried Taekwon-do? Alison x #BigPinkLink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:18 pm

      Yes, do people have to announce their intention to the world of a clearout? No, just get on with it!! I do body combat?! I’d like to try an actual martial art though!!

  14. March 6, 2017 / 2:31 pm

    Basically four girls in seven years has left me a raging, unhinged bitch 99% of the time.

    Im with ya!

    #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 3:16 pm

      *high fives you* xx

    • March 6, 2017 / 9:59 pm

      I’ve only got one … I need a better excuse. #bigpinklink This is brilliant 🙂 Thank you for the laugh

  15. March 6, 2017 / 2:32 pm

    Haha, yep! I have felt many of those things!! #bigpinklink

  16. March 6, 2017 / 4:33 pm

    Very funny! So glad it’s just not me then. The rage that fill my head sometimes, I just want to scream F*ck off really really loudly to the whole world – but like you day, the kids probs wouldn’t notice anyway because they don’t hear a thing I say! And my bladder and bowels movements just aint the same either! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 6, 2017 / 4:41 pm

      I think we can safely start a mum’s anger management group-it seems to be affecting us all!!!!

  17. March 6, 2017 / 6:45 pm

    If you have an anger management issue then I definitely do. I should probably seek professional help but my favourite way to attempt inner peace is to copy my Toddler when she is having a tantrum. I shout and huff and stamp up and down and generally take the mickey out of her, which she finds really funny so I moan theatrically at her, “It’s not funny, why aren’t you taking me seriously?! I’m having a tantrum don’t you know?!” Only when we’re at home obviously, and it’s probably really bad parenting. And soon the joke will wear thin with her and I’ll have to find a new way to placate her when her breadstick snaps in half. #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 7, 2017 / 8:26 am

      Ha!! Breadsticks snapping/ice in drinks, who would’ve thought these could be such Day ruining experiences!! I’ve tried your counter tactics-they make my children SAVAGE!! X

  18. March 6, 2017 / 7:52 pm

    Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!
    #bigpinklink

  19. March 6, 2017 / 9:01 pm

    the joy of confidence that comes with age #BigPinkLink

  20. March 6, 2017 / 9:25 pm

    Oh I feel you! I often wonder if i need that or a week in an institute for some RnR!!
    I knew parenting would be hard – but just not this hard! wow #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 7, 2017 / 8:27 am

      Oooh, a week for some recovery…!! It sounds amazing!!

  21. March 6, 2017 / 10:18 pm

    Haha this is so brilliant! I am becoming much the same and sooo angry at everyone around me – why can’t they just be better!! 🙂 Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink xx

    • This Mum's Life
      March 7, 2017 / 8:28 am

      Exactly!! Why aren’t they making our incredibly hard lives easier?!

  22. March 7, 2017 / 6:00 am

    I can switch from earth mother to hell fire in an instant… it’s like it’s always there just under the surface… especially post school run, mid tea cooking, in a rush to make swimming and separating two bickering kids! Sometimes I think I have issues…
    Sorry didn’t make the linky in a while! Xx

    • This Mum's Life
      March 7, 2017 / 8:29 am

      No worries-it’s so hard to do it all! Ok, if you feel the same, I definitely feel better! Because I always imagined that you always had your shit together!! X

  23. March 7, 2017 / 8:23 am

    I think you have just described me! I was the calm one at work, steely under pressure. At home – reduced to a screaming banshee to be heard above the chaos. I’ll join the anger management group! Big hug! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 7, 2017 / 8:30 am

      Yay!! This has turned into a recruitment drive!! Welcome to Anger Management Mums!! X

  24. March 7, 2017 / 3:03 pm

    I feel like I yell at the kids and the dog so much its a surprise I still have a voice by the end of the day #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 7, 2017 / 3:09 pm

      It’s hard not to some days isn’t it?!

  25. March 9, 2017 / 12:35 pm

    He – Heh!! I LOVE THIS! And think you could possibly have written what’s going on in my head too. I was a little impatient before having kids but now I just have no patience whatsoever! Not just with the kids, but like you, I can’t be doing with other people’s silly behaviour like announcing their cull on social media.
    Mindfulness (as you know) has helped me reign in it in a bit, but if something or SOMEONE makes me angry I still have the capacity to lose it. Shall we seek out anger management classes together?! Or risk punching the teacher and any other silly sods in the class?! #BigPinkLink xx

    • This Mum's Life
      March 9, 2017 / 1:05 pm

      Yay, I’m glad you can relate!! I’m so glad it’s not just me! Everything always used to just wash over me, but now I spend my life muttering ‘oh you silly dickhead,’ ‘do I look like I give a f**k’ and generally swearing under my breath at everyone! I definitely need to try mindfulness…!! Hopefully without punching anyone!!

  26. March 10, 2017 / 6:54 pm

    Haha Oh, I think I need anger management too. I am so angry at the most random things these days, most recently because for 3 weeks my local peacocks store didn’t have the item I needed! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 10, 2017 / 6:58 pm

      That would totally do me in too!!!!

  27. March 12, 2017 / 6:58 pm

    hahah hilarious as ever. I too have taken to taking less shit and becoming a bit more fierce. I think it’s kind of a good thing. I finally feel like I’m getting some balls! #bigpinklink

  28. March 12, 2017 / 11:53 pm

    Haha! Of course you don’t need anger management – other people need annoying crusty bint management! #bigpinklink

    • This Mum's Life
      March 13, 2017 / 8:02 am

      Exactly!! I’m so glad everyone had proved me right!! X

  29. March 13, 2017 / 8:42 am

    Oh.My.God. You had me at ‘BINT’ – literally one of the best words ever and just isn’t used enough. Although the hubby and I are partial to referring to people as bints, you just don’t hear it enough! Let’s bring it back, hahahaha. Proper perked me up that has!

    • This Mum's Life
      March 13, 2017 / 8:49 am

      Well, I’m so glad!!! And you’re right-I’m getting straight on the case to bring back the word bint!!!