Rookie Mistake World

Peppa Pig World

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(This post first appeared as a guest post for the lovely Claire at Life Love and Dirty Dishes as part of her ‘Rookie Mistakes’ series.) 

Mr W had a day off, the sun was said to be shining gloriously over Southampton for the entire day, so we decided we would confirm our status as The Worlds Best Parents, while simultaneously setting a fearless test for the limits of our sanity, by taking the children to the Mecca for all fans of the pink, red dress sporting puddle jumper-Peppa Pig World. I thought we’d made a dubious start, when the familiar chime of ‘are we there yet?’ was uttered by the oldest child, 30 seconds in, before we had even reached the end of our road… However, despite still having 1 hour, 39 minutes and 30 seconds of the journey left, it all went smoothly, with no traffic jams, and instead of the presumed 5.2 billion times I then anticipated he would ask that question again, he only asked about 50. Result!

Shortly after we’d parked, and released the children from their car seats (who were waiting like greyhounds to be released from their boxes,) I realised my first rookie mistake: I had trusted my husband when he said he’d ‘loaded all the essentials in to the car.’ Yes, I can hear the collective groan gathering speed, of course you never entrust a man with this potentially day destroying job. He had not packed the pushchair. Not just forgotten it, but made a conscious choice not to bring it, and not discuss this with me, as he thought we ‘didn’t need it.’ With a 2 year old who still takes a mammoth nap in the middle of the day, and a three year old who can abruptly decide walking is no longer for him at that precise moment, and plank on the floor until an appropriate method of transportation can be found for his questionably tired limbs, of course we needed a sodding pushchair. I struggled with my next course of action. Did I…

  1. Unleash the stream of expletives, bursting to flow from my mouth like projectile vomit, thus purging myself of the fiery rage burning through my entire body.
  2. Tell him he’d ruined the entire day, and demand to go home.
  3. Hold back my rage, but passively aggressively ignore him for the rest of the day
  4. Take it on the chin-its all my fault anyway for trusting a man to do a job properly.

I settled on calling him a knob (which I thought showed admirable restraint,) and went marching forth towards the entrance, desperately making mental notes of what my next move would be. As luck would (kind of) have it, it turns out Peppa Pig World do pushchair hire! But alas, due to the high risk nature of the pushchairs usual kicking/screaming/body fluid leaking occupants, they appeared to be made from NASA grade impenetrable material, and were about as comfortable for my nap attempting child, as trying to get comfortable on a bed of nails. So all it was good for was carting around the multitude of shit essentials required for two little ones, but the nap was not happening. I was still therefore able to smugly justify calling my husband a knob, and force him to deal with the monumental meltdown that occurred because the little one didn’t have his favourite five star royal chariot to nap in.

Not long after we sorted pushchairgate out, I was overcome with an urge to pee. I left my husband trying to keep an eye on both boys as they each tore in different directions in the softplay, found the toilets, and got in the queue. Here, I made my second rookie mistake of the day: Trusting that a public toilet at a busy destination, would have an adequate stock of toilet roll. I scuttled in when one became free, sat down, looked left, and realised there was no toilet roll. Again, I quickly weighed up my options. Do I…

  1. Walk straight back out, get back in the queue, and spend the next goodness knows how long being in charge of telling whoever went near that toilet saying ‘there’s no loo roll in that one.’
  2. Frantically scrabble around in my bag looking for some tissue/a receipt/something that could double as loo roll.
  3. Twerk over the toilet in a bid to drip dry
  4. Not pee in this toilet at all, calmly walk out and wash my hands, pretending I had, then dash to the next available block of toilets and make sure I definitely found a toilet this time, that had the necessary roll.

I did ‘b’, and realised that as I’m the worlds most unprepared mother, of course I didn’t have a tissue, I never carry tissue. I also didn’t have a receipt big enough. That would then make ‘a’ look weird-I’d been in there too long now, too long to walk out and now say there was no loo roll in there. Everyone would smile and nod politely, but they’re British, and I know they’d find it weird. I settled on twerking (don’t judge me,) as I ran out of time to do ‘d,’ and my pelvic floor didn’t have a time allowance for this. So after twerking for a bit (yea, it did nothing,) I rushed out, trying not to walk like I had pee’d myself, and hoping I wouldn’t smell like pee for the rest of the day.

We spent a couple of hours successfully getting on the rides, and then treated the boys to an ice cream break. A slightly ominous cloud appeared overhead, and settled itself directly above Peppa Pig World. But of course, the weather app had said it was going to be glorious all day, hadn’t it! There was nothing to worry about! There you have final rookie mistake of the day: Never trust a weather app. I knew this, our weather app had once said it would rain all day on our wedding day, and after countless moments of anguish, these anxieties turned out to be pointless, as it was sunny all day. I’d fallen victim to wanting to believe the app, because I wanted a lovely day, all day, for our trip. Of course, the heavens opened, and within minutes, Peppa Pig world was just one big muddy frigging puddle. I’d broken every single rule of going out in the British weather…

  1. If you think it’s going to be summery, take thick sweaters, just in case of a sudden chill.
  2. Also take full wet weather gear, as if expecting a tsunami
  3. Also take full ski gear, on the off chance it may snow
  4. The above must all be taken with you at every outing, no matter what time of year, or what the weather app says. If you don’t know this, you are stupid, and shouldn’t be allowed to call yourself British.

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(The offending cloud…)

Of course, I had none of the above (couldn’t blame my husband, totally on me this one,) so with ruined ballet flats, soaked to the skin summery clothes, and a NASA grade impenetrable buggy that actually had no rain cover, and couldn’t actually protect our stuff from the rain, we gave up and went home. There’s loads of lessons in there people! This is basically a what not to do guide when visiting anywhere, not just Peppa Pig World!

(If you remember all of your vital stuff, and go on a sunny day, Peppa Pig World is actually really fun! The children will love it, and actually, me and my husband quite like it there too…!!)

Thanks for reading!

xoxo

Rookie Mistakes

 

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65 Comments

  1. June 19, 2016 / 6:00 pm

    It’s the second time I’ve read this and it’s even more funny second time around! The “twerking” bit gets me every time! I’ll be taking all of your advice on board as we are all set to visit here ourselves in a couple of weeks – Eek! Thanks for sharing your #rookiemistakes. That way I can take all of your fantastic tips on board which will thus leave me free to make a whole load of new mistakes all of my very own haha! Love this post xx

  2. June 19, 2016 / 9:57 pm

    ahaha trusting the husband to pack all the stuff is suicide mission, but it looked like you survived despite all the adventures of the day. You are Wonder Woman!#bigpinklink

  3. June 20, 2016 / 5:50 am

    O dear, sounds like you had a rough day, I would have called my hubby a knob too #bigpinklinky

  4. June 20, 2016 / 6:16 am

    My favourite part of this is the things that went through your head when you realised your husband had not brought the pushchair. These are dactyl the options that would go through my head and I would probably attempt 1), 2) and 3). Your restraint is admirable. #bigpinklink

  5. June 20, 2016 / 7:49 am

    Oh this is amazing! I would have called NW a knob and probably a whole lot more … congratulations on making it to the end of the day. We’re yet to ‘enjoy’ PPW but I know it’s on the cards soon as not that far away from us. I will definitely put the pushchair in the car myself 🙂 #bigpinklink

  6. June 20, 2016 / 8:05 am

    haha sounds like a fun day, 2 year old with no pushchair absolute nightmare, never trust a man lol x #bigpinklink

  7. June 20, 2016 / 8:10 am

    Ah yes…makes me truly grateful we do not have a Peppa Pig world here in Australia…!! #bigpinklink

  8. June 20, 2016 / 8:10 am

    … Just popping back again through #bigpinklink. Thanks for hosting lovely x

  9. June 20, 2016 / 8:32 am

    Hahaha,I don’t wanna laugh but I can’t help it, it’s the way you tell it. I’m itching to go Peppa Pig world (is that weird) as I think my son would absolutely love it but I just wonder if he’s old enough (he’s 2.5). I shall be ensuring I don’t make any rookie mistakes though, although I’m so scatty anything is possible. #bigpinkink

  10. June 20, 2016 / 8:34 am

    This is absolutely hilarious!!! Thank you for cheering me up on a dismal Monday morning. I will be laughing out loud with this one for the rest of the week 🙂 I have to agree though on the fact that you cannot be truly British for not taking all weather gear possibly needed, especially in this poor excuse of a summer we have this year! 😉 #bigpinklink

  11. June 20, 2016 / 8:48 am

    Haha, I am so unorganised with days out. We went to PPW last June and luckily the weather was nice (unlike this June!) x #bigpinklink

  12. June 20, 2016 / 8:48 am

    Hahah damn girl, you didn’t bring a Tsunami outfit, that IS a cardinal British rule you did not follow. This post is hilarious, as always I was hanging on to every word, love how this is written. For the toliet scenario, I always Twerk, and then try to pull the cardboard (yes the CARDBOARD!) roll off the toliet thingy and use that. AWKS. I am shocked that your husband purposely did not bring the BUGGY, isn’t it more easy to just push the kids around? You’d assume he would want the easy route! ; ) ; ) Love this! #bigpinklink

  13. June 20, 2016 / 9:17 am

    Don’t worry, I sent my eldest to Peppa Pig World while she had an unknown untreated broken leg….! Enjoyed reading this, loved the twerking part too 😞 #bigpinklink

  14. June 20, 2016 / 9:23 am

    Oh my word hilarious! My husband likes to make ‘daddy decisions’ like this without consulting me. I would love to know what drives their decisions sometimes absolutely baffling!! Knob was definitely well restrained haha welldone mumma! Popping by for #bigpinklink

  15. June 20, 2016 / 9:27 am

    Oh dear! This made me laugh. When it’s one thing after another, you just have to give in to it all and laugh! I loved your twerking and thought that perhaps the rain shower was a blessing to hide anything the twerking didn’t deal with! Alison x #bigpinklink

  16. June 20, 2016 / 9:59 am

    haha I loved this when I read it on Rookie mistakes and I still think your husband got off very lightly 😉 #bigpinklink

  17. June 20, 2016 / 10:48 am

    Oh my … I can’t get past the twerking! What a mental image you’ve conjured. Of course, we’re all been there and besides it’s what kids over 3yrs do 6 times a day every day. That’s what pants are for, right?
    Also have had my husband decide not to bring the buggy – you chose the correct insult.
    Bravo for making it through the day. We haven’t braved it (and never will probably)! #BigPinkLink

  18. June 20, 2016 / 11:04 am

    Oh good grief, how did you not murder your husband?! You showed remarkable restraint!! I’m glad the kids enjoyed it anyway, an at least you can bring it up all the time to punish your husband. #BigPinkLink

  19. June 20, 2016 / 11:06 am

    May the dear Lord save me from ever having to visit Peppa Pig World. I’ll send the husband and grandparents on my behalf. #bigpinklink

  20. June 20, 2016 / 11:07 am

    Hehe, love this! I’ve learnt the hard way never to rely on a man packing the essentials the hard way – we went camping back in the day with equipment my dad had packed, which turned out to contain no ground sheet. Nothing like a sleeping bag placed on top of a towel and half an Asda carrier bag… 🙂 #bigpinklink

  21. June 20, 2016 / 11:29 am

    I don’t blame you for being mad at your husband – it can be so hard not to have a pushchair, especially if it’s raining! Never trust the weather app – I’ve made that mistake SO many times. Best to prepare for all the weathers – this is Britain, after all. #bigpinklink

  22. June 20, 2016 / 11:35 am

    Oh my gosh, what a ‘mare. I think you showed remarkable restraint with just the mild ‘knob’ comment. It’s a nightmare remembering all the essentials though – especially when all the essentials are pretty much everything child-related you own, in our case. The toilet story sounded familiar to my mother – why oh why can’t venues keep this basic need met!! Hope you all had a wonderful day though x #bigpinklink

  23. June 20, 2016 / 12:03 pm

    haha love it – id have been fuming re the pushchair too! you just have to pack stuff yourself otherwise you know it wont be done hehe! #bigpinklink

  24. June 20, 2016 / 12:03 pm

    For some odd reason my 16 month old hasn’t taken to Peppa Pig (yet!) I hope to keep it that way, though it would make a welcomed break from Little Baby Bum and Wheels on the Bus (shoot me now). My hubby would not have been popular (to say the least) had he left the pushchair at home, then again it would never happen as he except me to plan and organise these things (thanks). I commend your bravery! #BigPinkLink

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

  25. June 20, 2016 / 12:06 pm

    hahaha! oh dear! I remember when a day out was like planning a military operation, so stressful!! the public loo bit made me really giggle, the ‘twerk’ over the toilet lol – we’ve all been there! #bigpinklink

  26. June 20, 2016 / 12:07 pm

    Hehe! This made me laugh. Especially the bit about the husband consciously deciding we didn’t need the pram – this happens at our house all the time! I’m ashamed to say I usually plum for option 3. We’ve never been to Peppa Pig World, but have heard good recommendations of it. I will be sure to heed your advice if we ever get chance to visit! #bigpinklink

  27. June 20, 2016 / 12:11 pm

    Oh I really feel for you – there’s nothing worse than forgetting important things! And the bloody weather is such a nightmare – why does the app always lie? I was walking to baby sensory the other day and it wasn’t meant to rain for a few hours. Luckily my husband made me take a raincoat because 2 minutes after I left the house it was basically a tsunami. Grim! This really made me laugh – twerking over the toilet ahaha! #bigpinklink

  28. June 20, 2016 / 12:54 pm

    well now my jaw is firmly on the floor I don’t know what to say – just bloody unbelievable! This is so funny – and I hate to laugh at your misfortunes but how can I not – and you’re right – who in their right mind wouldn’t have all that equipment in the car – we are British – who knows what the weather will be like? Have you seen it out there today??? It’s meant to be summer!! Hope you treat yourself to a new pair of ballet flats my lovely – so deserved #BigPinkLink

  29. June 20, 2016 / 1:01 pm

    I still make rookie mistakes. Either with trusting my OH lol, not having an iPad charged at all times or running out of kinder egg (briber purposes lol)
    Great post!
    L X
    http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #bigpinklink

  30. June 20, 2016 / 1:16 pm

    I was reading this firstly getting very excited thinking you may live near Peppa Pig world (although I was sure you didn’t). Then once I got past the journey time I was thinking how very little I now wanted to do our trip to Peppa Pig world planned for a vague ‘sometime’ in the next month ‘or so’ (it was the mention of soft play mainly) but then you say it’s ok there and so now I will venture forth with a pushchair, a bag full of tissues (or baby socks…yes that’s happened), and all the wet and dry gear I can lay my hands on! #bigpinklink

  31. June 20, 2016 / 1:22 pm

    You could have written this post about a standard day out with our family. We always forget something, we always have some sort of toilet related incident and it always bloody rains! #bigpinklink

  32. June 20, 2016 / 1:24 pm

    Very funny indeed. Yes, I’ll hold my hands up and admit I’ve also made the husband error and thinking ‘we didn’t need it’ and therefore chosen (by myself) not to take it. And yes, I’ve also faced similar wrath!
    Potty Adventures
    #bigpinklink

  33. June 20, 2016 / 1:57 pm

    Oh my goodness. As I was reading the options of how to deal with your husband’s decision not to take the pushchair, all I could think was I would have done no.1 and 2 and then thrown something at him. I am sure, however, he will never make the same mistake again. It reminded me of a similar scenario when we were on holiday in Majorca and our youngest was 3 and we decided to brave dinner out without a pushchair – big mistake! You can just about manage without anything during the toddler years other than a pushchair, it is a necessity. Loved the loo roll and weather disaster too. Why is it that bad luck always comes in 3’s? #bigpinklink

  34. June 20, 2016 / 2:28 pm

    I would have killed my husband had he not brought the push chair but to save jail have gone with your knob calling lol! A day out with kids is so fun isn’t it lol #bigpinklink xx

  35. June 20, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    10 years into parenting and it appears I am still a rookie. Leaving the house with no nappies or wipes….How does this happen with child number 4! I blame the baby brain. If that brain didn’t let me down, then the toilet situation would also be solved (-> wipes!) and never trust the husband with packing essentials. Great Post! thanks for sharing 🙂

  36. June 20, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    Ha! Got to respect the toilet twerk! We’ve all been there! #bigpinklink

  37. June 20, 2016 / 3:19 pm

    No push chair? What was he thinking? Or was he thinking at all?! I think you were remarkably restrained. Sounds like a challenging day but yeah, I bet you’re still the world’s best parents 🙂 #bigpinklink

  38. June 20, 2016 / 5:16 pm

    Great post, pretty much describes most of out “best planned day trips” We are planning on making the mecca trip soon, so I will be well prepared thanks to your post! Thanks again for sharing and wish me luck when we go! oh I’m bookmarking this now!! haha #bigpinklink

  39. June 20, 2016 / 6:19 pm

    Too funny. Nooo you can’t have men do the packing without supervision. Of course once one thing goes wrong Murphys Law ensues. Sounds like a bottle of wine kind of day #bigpinklink

  40. June 20, 2016 / 6:27 pm

    HAHAH this made me laugh out loud! It sounds exactly like one of our days out! The thought of you twerking over the toilet seat was hilarious!! We do keep talking about visiting Peppa Pig world, at least now I should avoid some of these rookie mistakes!! #bigpinklink

  41. June 20, 2016 / 7:04 pm

    Ahh ohh no!So much went wrong for you. I hope the boys kids managed to have a good time before the massive down pour!Totally agree that you have to take all kinds of clothes out to be fully prepared for our stupid British weather. You did very well not to kick off at your husband about the buggy, I would have been so mad!Even after reading this I still can’t wait to go to peppa pig world – I will make sure I pack some tissues in my handbag though, to avoid the need to twerk over the toilet haha xx #bigpinklink

  42. June 20, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    I had the same problem with the pram on a trip to chessington! The twerking over the toilet had me in stitches – at least you can twerk!

  43. June 20, 2016 / 7:59 pm

    Oh no what a disaster you can never trust British weather or weather apps! We have legoland in July and I am worrying about similar things xx #bigpinklink

  44. June 20, 2016 / 10:00 pm

    And there was me thinking everyone had the most marvelous time at Peppa Pig World! I’m sure if I ask the kids it would be a huge success! #bigpinklink

  45. June 21, 2016 / 4:47 am

    my hubby is great, but seriously there is things a man does not ‘get’! What is with them at times??? Mystery. Love the Knob calling haha. Poor you xx #bigpinklink

  46. June 21, 2016 / 12:46 pm

    Hilarious read! This really made me laugh. Well, we live and learn!#bigpinklink

  47. June 21, 2016 / 2:17 pm

    Haha, I commit the cardinal sin of trusting he weather app all the time. I don’t know why I haven’t learnt! I also love that you Hubby opted not to bring the pushchair! I would love to know how he arrived at that decision. Well I do hope you had a good day out in spite of the rain and pushchair gate xx #bigpinklink

  48. June 21, 2016 / 6:58 pm

    I now feel completely justified in not letting hubby pack everything on a day out haha 🙂 Giggled the whole way through reading this!! Thanks for hosting lovely #bigpinklink x

  49. June 22, 2016 / 12:56 pm

    We once got an hour on the way to a christmas market in Germany only to discover one of us had forgotten coats (there was snow) I hate weather apps… totally unreliable. 🌸

  50. June 22, 2016 / 6:49 pm

    Hah hah! I LOVE the twerking on the toilet. I’d already picked that out as being my answer too! I hope despite all the various issues you still had a lovely day. Thanks for hosting #BigPinkLink x

  51. June 22, 2016 / 8:34 pm

    Ha ha hilarious as usual! That sounds a bit like our days out in general. We intend to be totally prepared and then fail! We often look longingly at people who have perfect picnic baskets, deck chairs, champagne etc. Yes recently my husband didn’t pack the buggy, total pain as the youngest has connective tissue disorder so tires very easily.

    I think we need to remember, if you want something doing ….

    #bigpinklink

  52. June 23, 2016 / 7:06 pm

    This is brilliant, ha ha!! My baby loves Peppa Pig so I am sure one day we have to have the same experiences! Good post xx

  53. June 23, 2016 / 7:45 pm

    Oooh allowing the other half to pack for a day out – never a great plan! I could never entrust such a task to Mr Pud! The toilet roll thing is a real dilemma, man I hate having to do the twerk… Thanks for hosting #BigPinkLink

  54. June 23, 2016 / 8:17 pm

    That’s really funny- I’ve contemplated the receipt for toilet roll dilemma!! Never got to PPW, but kinda wish we had now! #stayclassymama

  55. June 24, 2016 / 12:14 pm

    Good advice here!!! I have been to Peppa Pig world. It is a fab day out but I noticed those pushchairs and they dont look very comfy xxx #bigpinklink

  56. June 24, 2016 / 12:26 pm

    Eeekk…. You had me laughing from the very start. My partner is the same, I can never trust him to pack anything. We went away once for 10 days without a stroller because he BELIEVED our child did not need it. Did she need it when we got there? Yes, of course and we ended up buying another one over there. I don’t even trust him packing for himself.

    Twerking over the bathroom— that’s GOLD!

    I am lucky that my children are old enough to just fend for themselves if it does get wet.

  57. June 24, 2016 / 12:54 pm

    This is why Wolf is never trusted to pack everything when we go out…not that he’d ever offer. As much of a disaster as it may have been, at least you got a damn good blog post out of it! Silver lining and all that…

    #bigpinklink

  58. June 25, 2016 / 10:30 am

    Checking the toilet paper roll is the first thing I do, well after confirming the level of disgust in a public restroom. Ugh. Been there, done that. ##bigpinklink

  59. June 25, 2016 / 2:37 pm

    I learnt a long time ago never to trust my husband with packing or organising. This drives him mad but keeps me sane. The only bad thing is that if anything goes wring I can’t blame him;) Sounds like you had a crazy day and it made for a very funny post. #bigpinklink

  60. June 25, 2016 / 7:38 pm

    No matter how prepared you are (or think you are) family days out NEVER go as planned to they?! And husbands can definitely not be trusted to remember things – if you want something doing properly you have to do it yourself! 😉 #StayClassy

  61. June 26, 2016 / 10:14 pm

    Haha! The joys of trying to be properly prepared for days out with toddlers (in erratic weather)! We went to Peppa Pig World the Christmas before last for a friend’s child’s 2nd birthday. The Christmas wonderland was good, but queue a bit slow for little ones. They enjoyed the rides. Neither of them were interested in Peppa then though (well little one was only 4 months old), so we plan to return this year as they both love her now! Yes, I know men consider this sexist, etc, etc, but a lot of men do seem to be just bad at actually preparing for and remembering things! I always do all preparation & packing! #bigpinklink

  62. June 27, 2016 / 7:21 am

    This really made me giggle! I can’t believe the OH thought the buggy was not required! You did very well I don’t think I would have been able to not loose it all together! Thanks for hosting #BigPinkLink xx

  63. June 27, 2016 / 7:54 am

    Oh dear! I am sorry it wasn’t the most successful trip but you have made me laugh. I am very lucky with my husband in that he always remembers to pack everything. I’mean a scatter brain who’said not allowed near it! Sorry my comments are late. My grandmother died last week and was tough to get round to doing them. Thanks for making me have a little laugh 🙂 #bigpinklink

  64. June 28, 2016 / 8:00 am

    Haha this is funny ! How can he have decided not to bring the push chair???? Did you want to headbutt him hehe?! I definitely want to go to Peppa Pig World #stayclassymama

  65. July 1, 2016 / 11:02 pm

    Peppa Pig world is somewhere I have never had to and never will have to go to, the benefits of having older children 😉 At 10 and almost 12 I’m just pleased they are still for the moment happy to be seen with me 😉

    Stevie x

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